Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
