I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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