Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
love makes seman taste better
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
