I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
