omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
