remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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