the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
