White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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