Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
