Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Randomize
