what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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