I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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