i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
