a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
