Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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