like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
