hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
