hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
