Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
