Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
