I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
