More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
