I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
