I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
