I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
