Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
