Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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