Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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