I'm pants shitting drunk right now
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
