we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
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I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer