How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing