Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
