It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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