help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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