Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
