I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
