...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
