I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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