I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
