Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I still have a little drunk in my system
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Help. Why am I so naked?
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