I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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