you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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