Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
