I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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