who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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