I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
