I molested 6 butterflies tonight
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
