i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
