goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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