Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
