What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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