is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're a disaster
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