That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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