Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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