I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
