Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Enjoy the penises
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
