And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
