I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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