so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
