does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
