so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
