I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
