What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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