This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
